It’s time to meet the prisoners…
Whilst we have been hard at work, there have been some mischief-makers in the community stirring up some trouble. On Friday 13th June these naughty individuals will be arrested and charged with their crimes (entirely fictitious, of course) and then placed on trial. Will you help our jailbirds…?
What is Jail & Bail, find out more.
Inmate: Christian Airey #SJHK006
Crime: Pilates Fugitive
Plea: Not Guilty!
“Christian has denied colleagues’ allegations of skiving from work every Friday – and YET he can be seen leaving the building covertly in spandex and yoga shoes! His colleagues don’t believe his protestations of “Important Work Stuff’” and suspect the only thing being flexed is the truth.
Now, Christian faces his toughest pose yet — a one-day stretch in Salisbury Jail House to raise funds for Salisbury Hospice. Can he balance the books, twist a few arms, and stretch his network far enough to raise the £999 bail or will it be ‘Downward Dog’ or Lockdown?
Sentenced by his colleagues at Wessex Care
Inmate: Andy North #SJHK007
Crime: The Positivity Perpetrator
Plea: Guilty!
In a town known for its calm and quiet charm, one individual stood out — where meetings are usually powered by biscuits and mild despair, one man dared to believe in… “what’s possible.” The President of the Chamber has been apprehended for disrupting the peace with relentless positivity — bursting into boardrooms with boundless energy, firing off motivational quotes like confetti, and refusing to end a meeting without declaring, “Let’s do something amazing!”
The Directors couldn’t take the energy. Even the coffee machine short-circuited under the pressure.
Now detained for excessive cheer, he’s facing a £999 bail. Will your donation restore balance… or unleash even more inspiration? Donate now — before he turns the jail into a vision board.
Sentenced by his colleagues at Salisbury Chamber of Commerce
Inmate: Martin Rossiter #SJHK008
Crime: Recreational Misconduct Mastermind
Plea: Not Guilty!
Martin Rossiter, the office’s self-proclaimed Chief Fun Officer, has orchestrated a full-on carnival of chaos at work. From commandeering the fire warden’s loudspeaker for tomfoolery and cake announcements, to zooming down corridors on a teeny-tiny bike, and turning boardrooms into cricket fields and putting greens—Martin’s antics have sparked uncontrollable laughter and brought productivity to a standstill. Productivity? What’s that?
Now caught in a pickle at Salisbury Jail House for his playful crimes against workplace decorum, this maestro of mischief must raise £999 bail for Salisbury Hospice.
Can he pedal his way to freedom before time runs out? The clock’s ticking—let the fundraising antics begin!
Sentenced by colleagues at PFK Francis Clark
Inmate: Dave Hearn #SJHk009
Crime: Midday Munch Mobster
Plea: Guilty!
Dave finally spills the beans on his sneaky schemes! Known far and wide as the Midday Munch Mobster, he’s been habitually ducking out of the office to indulge in fancy feasts with local ne’er-do-wells—leaving hardworking colleagues to shoulder the burden and slowly waste away. While the team battles deadlines, Dave’s off swapping wild tales and staging secret snack raids. But the jig is up! Fed up with his lunchtime larceny, the team dialled 999, and now our rogue is caught red-handed.
Facing a hefty £999 bail to make amends, the big question is: will Dave’s lunchtime meetups save him, or is prison calling his name? Grab your popcorn, folks—watch the drama unfold!
Sentenced by his colleagues at Sarum Properties
Inmate: Anthony Rice #SJHK010
Crime: Linguistic Manslaughter
Plea: Not Guilty!
Anthony, Senior Manager in the Private Client Tax team, has been caught red-handed turning the English language into his personal playground. Armed with phrases like “high-level review,” “back of a fag packet calculation,” and the legendary “if it quacks like a duck and swims like a duck, it will be taxed like a duck,” he’s left colleagues laughing, scratching their heads, and Googling “duck tax laws.” Since when did ducks become tax myth busters, Anthony? Rumour has it the office dictionary is demanding a restraining order. While clients applaud his colourful style, his co-workers say he’s guilty of linguistic manslaughter—a crime punishable by a stint in Salisbury Jail House.
Facing a hefty £999 bail, will Anthony’s quirky quacks get him off the hook, or is he about to do some serious time in the grammar slam?
Sentenced by his colleagues at S&W
Inmate: Craig Haywood #SJHk011
Crime: Workaholic Whiz
Plea: Guilty!
Craig’s finally been busted—caught in the act of extreme out-of-office denial. Weekends, holidays, those sacred “days off”? Not a chance. He’s replying to emails faster than a squirrel on Red Bull, firing off texts before most of us have even found the snooze button.
While the rest of us are perfecting our “busy face” and sneakily planning holidays, Craig’s keeping the work wheel spinning 24/7— Colleagues report receiving project updates from the beach, spreadsheets from the gym, and “quick replies” that turn into full-blown strategy sessions… at 7am on a Sunday.
Now found guilty of workaholism in the first degree, Craig’s been sentenced to bottomless coffee, a lifetime snack subscription, and enforced chilled time (yes, we’ve scheduled it—resistance is futile).
Facing a hefty £999 bail, will Craig’s unstoppable typing fingers get him off the hook, or is he about to serve hard time in the “Out-of-Office” Salisbury Jail House? Donate now—before he responds to this message too.
Sentenced by his colleagues at Tesco’s
